Start Best dating headline quotes

Best dating headline quotes

Swipe the direction of the one you think is more attractive. I work for the government so you know I’ll f*ck you hard. I pick you up at 8 for half-priced apps at the Bee’s.

I like laughing, dogs, lots of food, beer, outdoor activities, and adventures. I’m super in shape thanks to my strict diet of Mountain Dew and twizzlers. When She’s walking home wards the monastery she thinks about how this is possible as she’s never had sex. The closest unicorn looks at your ass against the glass.

I’ll still kiss you after you give me a rim job and I do a lot of yoga. But what I do have is a very particular set of skills. I hunt, fish, critique porn and thoroughly enjoy getting stoned in the woods with Mary Jane and Jack. Let’s recreate the Human Centipede and sew your mouth to my butthole. Two things I don’t fuck with: rattlesnakes and condoms. Hobbies: I’ll treat you like a Disney princess on the streets and a porn princess between the sheets.

You gotta marry someone you know you’d still be down to fuck in the laundry room real quick while the kids are downstairs watching Lion King & ten minutes left till the dinosaur nuggets are read to come out the oven. Skills I have acquired over a very long sexual career. I can nail an arrow in the back of your skull at over 100 yards. PS: all I eat is mozzarella sticks, Doritos, and di*k. Boys call me Dumbledore cause I’m the head master The C and the L are silent. It may make me sound like a whore, but as long as you open and hold my door, I will straight up fuck you then and there on the floor Women seeks hostile man for mutual psychological torture, co-dependency and future divorce. If your dog is cute, I’ll probably look through your photos twice and I’ll still kiss you after you give me a rim job and I do a lot of yoga. I’d like to cover you in peanut butter and see how much I could lick off before my peanut butter allergy killed me. The only thing that’s not goofy about me is my stance. I’m [Your Name] and I cuddle at a level that should require a paid subscription. one night older Hobbies: boning your mom and getting shredded.

My fairy tale prince is somebody who is tall, nice, and is willing to be roofied and anally penetrated by the second date. Swipe right ;)If you can’t handle me at my worst, then leave because I don’t have a best. Just your typical docile, subservient oriental girl wanting to help quell a white boy’s yellow fever. Based on the moments that I get, there seems to be a lot girls on here who know everything about love and relationships… When she arrives home she figures it out, goes next door, to the monastery where the monks live, opens the door interrupting the monks at dinner and shouts: “Alright, which one of you bastards has been wanking off on the church candle? Want to marry some one whose last name begins with an “L”, so if I ever decide to work at a Denny’s, my name tag will read Ana L. I take us to see the unicorns because unicorns are the f*cking tits. The unicorns are about to get the show of their life.